new years resolutions

Resolutions 2019

Hey everyone! It’s been awhile since I posted a proper “blog post” not otherwise distributed by one of my several outlets of employment. Last year, I posted a list of the things I would remember about 2017. This year, similarly, there are moments of fondness that I will hold deep to my heart, but for the purposes of my own mental health, I’ve compiled those into a list on my phone, and they mostly represent the accomplishments and projects that I have embarked upon this year. I’ll keep that private. Here are my own resolutions for 2019. I don’t usually list them for myself in such a firm format, but hey, it couldn’t hurt to see what I actually get done this new year once it’s come and gone; since no one reads these things anyways.

  1. Cut out nicotine. I mean, it’s freaking time. I feel very accomplished this year after quitting the smoking of cigarettes, but my reliance on my vape as a result is totally out of hand. I’ll be switching over to a new device called MONQ in 2018, in an effort to live a little healthier.

  2. Curse less on the internet. I’m not totally committed to this one as fully as I’m sure my family and employers might hope. It’s who I am, and as my boyfriend so lovingly puts it, “part of my charm.” So y’all will definitely still hear me go into fits of swearing and rage on Under Further Review. That will not change. But in addition to my ardent effort to keep my Twitter clean of things that could potentially hurt me later, I’m going to try to call it quits on the Fuck bomb. Suggestions to fun and creative words that allude to its use are welcome. We’ll see how long this one lasts.

  3. Listen to my body when it wants sleep. I have a habit of hanging out with my friends too long, or chilling with Michael when he’s working because I miss him and we never see each other during the work week. The next day is always dreadful. I’d say I’ve slept about 650 hours in 2018, which sounds like a lot, but is definitely not enough. And adderall is only so effective. Should probably try to cut out that stuff too.

  4. Get out of the bar and into school or a job that is relevant and productive to my greater interests. I think that’s all I need to say about that.

  5. Be more vocal about my needs and desires. Even if it means being disliked. After being promoted in October to the general manager of my bar, I’ve done a lot of holding back, both professionally and personally, so that I don’t seem needy and so that my employees don’t dislike me. Only recently have I begun to see the merits and respect that can come from speaking my mind and my heart, as stupid as that sounds. If my passion is to be sharing others’ truths, I should definitely work on sharing my own.

And, boom. That’s that.

An Ode To The Things I Will Remember 2017 Fondly For, Since Everything Else Was Pretty Much Shit

Reminding me that my goals are creative-centric, and that the amount of time I was spending working behind a bar is ridiculous, and that it doesn’t have to be that way.

The cool weekend trips I took to Boston, Rhode Island, Stamford, and Port Jefferson.  They set the stage for all the new adventures I plan to embark upon in the new year by showing me how easy traveling can be and how helpful it is to leave Manhattan and see new things, even if for work.

Getting my student loans paid, with the help of my loving and always-supportive family.  Those guys are the best.

Finishing my undergrad should probably considered a “fond” occasion of the year, despite the quarter-life crisis and subsequent change in career path that followed.

All of the good dogs that appeared in my life and gave the most unconditional, pure love.

My boyfriend, who, despite my insanity and a lot of turbulence in our relationship, has been a rock for me in this crazy time of my life, and gave so much kindness and amour and support.

Deciding I’m a writer and doing that thing.

Football, because that has been a crazy enterprise from which I have profited.  I’ve truly loved every second of game watch and commentating.

Leaving the job I felt trapped in on good terms, with the support of the family I made there; allowing for the opportunity to embrace new, more constructive opportunities.

My midtown bartenders who played a huge role in easing my thoughts during the tough stuff, and were always down to have a good time every single day.  In fact, a Happy New Year toast to them, and all the party nights that are in the books from this year, and the ones to come.  “To life; to love; to sex, drugs, and rock & roll!”

All the lists I made that helped me stay organized in my life and my thoughts, or at least FEEL like I was.  This one counts.

My customers, who are the coolest people I have ever encountered.

My customers’ stories, which enlighten and inspire me every day.

The bounty of incredible books, articles, columns, and essays that I encountered, especially those that have resurfaced as reference points in my own work and life, and those that have been handed to me as opportunities.

SoulCycle, which has done little for my body in my lack of attendance consistency, but much for my spirit and confidence.

Building my personal brand, which has required a lot of soul searching, but ultimately gives my work an essence unique to me, which my closest confidantes claim is present in everything I write, be it for myself or as a ghostwriter.

All the protests and activism that went down in support of those who needed help all year.  This includes the Women’s March, the outcry over the travel ban, the saviors who risked and sacrificed to help during natural disasters like Hurricane Harvey, and the progress that was made in recognizing the importance of diversity in our entertainment and media.

Rediscovering deep thought - the most vital height of my year.  In all the trials, traumas, successes, and discoveries of 2017, thank goodness for this most of all.